5 Sacrifices Cooking Will Require

Credit: Jef Harris

Doing anything requires sacrifice.  That sounds silly and kind of counter-intuitive, but it’s true.  If you walk instead of driving you’re sacrificing the time it would normally take you to get somewhere. If you choose bad beer, you’re sacrificing your taste buds and your liver for nothing.

Like anything you do, cooking will require some sacrifices.  Usually it’s a matter of sacrificing part of your day to prepare a good meal.  But unlike walking or drinking, cooking sometimes requires a greater sacrifice than you would expect.

Here are the 5 Sacrifices your Cooking will Require of you that all cooks know, but few kitchen beginners expect.

1. You Will Break Your Tools:  Whether it’s the brand new spatula you accidentally set down on the hot burner, or your grandmother’s tea pot that you inadvertently knocked off the counter-top, something is going to break, burn, or otherwise die.  This is not a huge sacrifice, but it does happen.  Usually right when you need that tool.  You will have to replace whatever it is, and that’s time-consuming, annoying, and sometimes costly.
2. Clothing Will be Ruined:  Grease splatters, marinara drips, and pomegranate juice doesn’t come out of anything.  Use aprons, towels, or even wrap your body in saran wrap if you like, it won’t matter.  At some point you’re going to relax and that’s when the bacon will jump out of the pan and onto those brand new designer jeans.  The only way to avoid it is to cook naked and that brings out a whole lot of questions about hygiene and…well, no one will eat what you prepared in the buff.
3. Your Confidence Will be Kicked in the Groin:  Follow the recipe perfectly, use all the right spice combinations, make the perfect souffle.  Doesn’t matter.  Someone will criticize it.  Someone will add salt without trying it first.  Someone will spit it out and call you a poisoner.  Critics are everywhere and they want to hurt you.  There’s nothing you can do to get around it.  So accept it, turn around, and try again.  As long as you’re making something then you’re better than them.  Just understand, it will hurt when they say those nasty things and there’s nothing you can do about that.
4. Your Recipe Will Have to be Trashed:  This will happen to you.  You will go to the grocery store with your entire list and get everything on it.  You will have everything laid out ahead of time perfectly proportioned and prepared.  You will get to the last ingredient of your cake and suddenly you realize you forgot the sour cream, or the full tub you had in the fridge is actually only half full, or it’s growing something from another planet.  It’s going to happen and the only option you have at that point is to throw it out and try again later.  It’s frustrating, annoying, and a huge pain in the ass.

5. 

   Credit: Sarah_Jones

   The Blood Sacrifices:  You will be hurt when you’re cooking.  I’m not just talking about the little scrapes or singes that happen, either.  I’m talking about the third degree burns that leave a scar for life.  I’m talking about the cuts that require a trip to the emergency room and 5 stitches.  I’m talking broken toes and a walking cast.  It happens, people.  You will get hurt in the kitchen and it will scar you for a significant time.  So toughen up, but some finger cots and a first aid kit, because cooking is a dangerous business.

And there you have them folks.  The 5 reasons you should run screaming at the slightest sight of a kitchen.  They are scary, dangerous, and disheartening places.  They will eat you up and spit you out (yes, I know, puns are classy.)

But in the end, in my humble (who am I kidding) opinion, the good that comes out of cooking, the feeling of making something with your hands, of seeing someone smile as they eat your cookies, the feeling of a full and satisfied belly, are worth the costs.  So yes, you will have to make sacrifices, but you’re doing that anyway.  At least now you know what you’re getting into.

Featured Image Credit:  BaboMike